Hi my name is Jill* and I am a Sophomore.
Growing up I always thought I was a Christian but I never really felt like it. My family would never go to church but say we were Christian. So growing up I struggled with actually feeling Christian, because I knew it was more than just believing.
Also I didn’t have the best childhood. I had been getting emotionally and physically abused by my dad, and getting sexually abused by my godfather, since the young age of 3. So growing up I always felt like there was a burden on me and It was always my fault.
When I was in 4th grade my parents broke up and my mom moved out which was really stressful on me because I didn’t want to see my dad anymore. But I knew I would be forced to because they had split custody. I also felt stressed because I felt their breakup was my fault.
I was bullied really badly in elementary school for just about everything, but especially my weight. Even though I was a good student, that made me hate myself.
Starting middle school, I was hoping I would make some friends and have a fresh start. I met and became really good friends with Linda*. She introduced me to Parable, where I found a caring community – it actually made me want to start going to church again.
My loneliness was still hard to deal with, so eventually in 7th grade I resorted to self-harm as a way to cope with my feelings. When my mom found out in January of 2023, she decided to put me in therapy. So since January of 2023 I have been free from self-harm.
At the same time I was really stressed because my godfather was still sexually abusing me. One day at Bible study I broke down and I told a leader, Sue. She helped me tell my mom about it, which lifted a huge burden off of me. I had never thought I would ever tell anyone no matter how bad it got.
The other big event in January of 2023 was going to the Fastbreak conference. It was there I finally gave my life to God with the help of Dan, with Linda right beside me.
Then I went to last year’s summer Getaway, which was another turning point in my relationship with God. I felt more connected than ever before, and I realized that even when I felt alone, I always had God by my side and He would always be there for me even if no one else was.
I have been through some rough times, but today I look forward to going to church instead of hating it.
I would like to share Philippians 4:13: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” This verse meant a lot because I realized that no matter what I went through, I would always have Him by my side and He would always be there for me to get me through the hard times. Thank you.
*Name and photo are representative
